They say that there are things in life you just have to let go but that the ones you love are worth fighting for. There in the middle of the lonely and cold night i find his song wrapping its warm arms around me and telling me not to give up just yet because its all worth the fight. my heart says how could you ever give up you fool when this is the first time in your life that you have something you are completely sure of, something you'd be willing to risk it all for, even if you have yet to begin risking things.
They say giving up is the hardest part, i used to think of it frequently until one night that changed. For the first time in a long time in between all the fights and yelling we were completely in peace just laying there laughing, then came a gentle kiss from his lips and an I love you. There I was feeling stupid because I thought those words i would not hear for a while or that he no longer felt. There is always this honesty that comes from his eyes those eyes who know me well enough to notice something is wrong even when I am smiling. Why give up when I have so much to lose. Why give up waking up next to him everyday, why give up the making up after we argue and the way that he wraps his arms around around me to make me feel warm and secure. Why would I give up the countless hours, weeks, and years that I've been by his side? Because of a stupid argument or because I get paranoid about things that should not even cross my mind. I know that he would not be out doing things he should not be he is too focused on his passion, his career.
I know that I don't want to let anything go even the bad stuff, how would I live with myself knowing that the part of me I found is out there but not with me. I would no longer feel whole, id have no reason to out of the blue laugh and laugh continuously because i remembered something hilarious then have him laugh by my side because he also found it hilarious. I would no longer be there for him to talk for hrs when he has something he wants to get off his chest, I wouldn't be there to rub his back until he falls asleep, I would no longer be there for him to make really cheesy jokes and be surprised I actually thought they were funny.
I would no longer be there for him to make silly faces with, to confide in, to tell crazy ideas to,to make a late night food run with and stay up the greater part of the time we are supposed to be asleep. I would no longer make random that's what he/she said jokes and him tell me "oh that was a good one" and laugh too. I like making him laugh and just be himself. I
wouldn't trade him going on about an idea or a topic for awhile and just rambling about whatever he wants just because he has me to talk to about. I wouldn't trade him coming home after I've gone to bed and gently kiss me on the shoulder and say "hey i got you this blueberry thing from the donut shop, and some kolaches" with a warm smile and giggle because I'm only half awake. There is way too much, my life would not be the same without him. You stick by the one you love even when things get difficult, if you truly love them, everyone always has a way to overlook the imperfections because we are not perfect. As long as you are happy why let go of that happiness ?
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